Sticky Hands, Wide Mouth: What God Has Been Teaching Me Through the Babies Recently.
The Lord is constantly speaking to me and revealing things through His babies to me. This job has been a huge blessing in the sense that it has taught me so much about myself and sacrifice of self. I am constantly stretching and growing, uncovering different vices and welcoming new virtues in my Job as a nanny. Children are truly a mirror and will really uncover and purify all the facets of our hearts if we invite the Holy Spirit into the care we give them.
Recently, God used these children to correct me through the most mundane thing. The babies are at the age where they're getting into every thing. One is full-blown walking and is a menace to the not baby-proofed parts of the house, and the other is not far behind, swiftly furniture walking and doing butt scooches to keep up. Whether their stealing my pens and markers from my bible study, or digging in the dirt of the potted plant in the corner, they are always grabbing and reaching for something. The other day I was holding one of the babes and in the other hand I had a spoon full of food. Mothers will know this, there’s no such thing has having food and not sharing what you have with the child once they see it. I was trying to share a bite with the child but as they so often do, they tried to grab the spoon from me instead of accepting a bite given to them. Now, I have the wisdom to know that if I give this spoonful to the child to hold they’ll get messy, I’ll get messy, and then there will just be stickiness everywhere to clean up from both of us. Frustrated I said to the child “quit grabbing with your sticky fingers and let me feed you.” (A natural response). I was immediately convicted and even felt God the Father basically giving me the side eye “mmmhm” kind of look. Because in that moment I realized I was the child with sticky fingers. I have constantly been grabbing and reaching for any kind of lifeline and understanding of what the Lords plan is for me instead of allowing his plan to unfold before me. With a new heart posture I sat down for prayer to understand better why I’ve subconsciously been doing this, but internally I knew it was because I lacked trust and surrender before the Lord.
I have prayed many times before with scripture about trust and surrender and have several verses in my back pocket for such a time as this, but sometimes when we’ve heard a verse over and over it becomes less potent, so I was searching for a fresh voice. I found myself in the psalms, particularly psalm 81. This psalm is labeled as “an admonition to fidelity," it is a beautiful mix of praise, remembrance, warning, and longing from God to His people, the Israelites. God is reminding them of His faithfulness and power, lamenting their disobedience, and pleading for their return so He can bless and protect them. God is calling His people back to a covenant of faithfulness, reminding them of His past deliverance, lamenting their unfaithfulness, and offering restoration if they return.
As I was reading I came to verse 11 which says: “open wide your mouth so that I may fill it." Unironically my jaw dropped at the sheer coincidence and perfection that this verse was because it is EXACTLY how I was feeling toward's the babies moments before. (How crazy is it that the word of God is TRULY LIVING and speaks truth over us in moments of need in the most intentional ways! PRAISE GOD!). I was shocked, I had never read this psalm before but it was exactly what my heart needed to hear to convict me of my own short comings and teach me wisdom through "the least of these", God's children.
The Lord taught me through this psalm that HE WANTS TO BLESS ME. Not only me but He wants to bless YOU TOO. Part of the reason I was suspicious of His word and promises was because I wasn't yet seeing the fruit of it- and still not. But reaching and grabbing and taking control will not make those gifts and promises come any quicker. In God's beautiful design, we were made to receive. But sticky hands receive nothing, it's only when we open our hands in surrender that a gift can be placed in them. Its only when we "open wide" our mouths that we can taste the goodness of His plan for our lives while avoiding the unnecessary heartache and mess of reaching for it ourselves.
Just like I get frustrated when the babies don't listen to me, God expresses sorrow and frustration to His people in Psalm 81. Yet, He longs for their return and obedience. Not because He is a tyrant who only likes us if we do what He says, but because He wants to bless us abundantly and the more we act in cooperation to His will with full trust and surrender, the better He will be able to bless us.
So if you have been like me lately, constantly grabbing and reaching at any opportunity that might reveal God's will for your life, this is your reminder to put your hands down and open wide your mouth. In other words, lean into the surrender of your desires and plans for your life by trusting that the God who is incapable of breaking His promises will not abandon you to figure it out on your own. Easier said than done. How can we actually transform our hearts to trust if we have allowed the voice of doubt to deafen us for so long? We have to start somewhere. What I have found to be fruitful is to incorporate the Litany of Trust into my daily prayer. I have linked one down below for you guys. This litany is beautiful because it speaks truth and life over the lies of the enemy. Another helpful way to help transform your heart into something malleable for God to use is by speaking straight up TRUTH to it by reading HIS ACTUAL WORD. This can look like memorizing a few short verses to speak over yourself OUT LOUD when you feel the enemy trying to tempt you with doubt or dissatisfaction with the present moment. Here are some of my favorites:
"Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil." Matthew 6:34
"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God." (Philippians 4:6)
"If even the smallest things are beyond your control why are you anxious about the rest?" Luke 12:26 (And the entirety of Luke 6:22-34)
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and on your own intelligence do not rely." Proverbs 3:5
"Search Me God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way within me and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23
"In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes with inexpressible groanings." Romans 8:26
"Open wide your mouth that I may fill it" Psalm 81:11
"Find your delight in the Lord, who will give you your hearts desire." Psalm 37:4
"I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you. I will remove your heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26
"The Lord will fight for you, need only be still." Exodus 14:14
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
"Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." Joshua 21:45
"If we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself." 2 Timothy 2:13
There are SO MANY MORE where that came from that I would happy to share with you all. What we can take from these verses now though is that we need not be anxious about the present or the future because our God is faithful. He doesn't tease us with desires and promises that He will not fulfill in His perfect timing.
Thank you for reading! I encourage you to subscribe to the Blog below to follow along this Gringa's journey. (Hint Hint, I've got some exiting trips coming up you won't want to miss out on.)
With Heart, Ellie
HELPFUL LINKS:
Litany of Trust: https://sistersoflife.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Mobile-Litany-of-Trust.pdf